floors underneath our feet are crumbling

BACK TO MAIN?

about this blog

hi, you.
Having grown to this age, you better know what you're thinking. You might meet obstacles and failures, you can cry. But what matter most is you pick yourself up and move on. No one will help you in this reality. I have learned to listen to people, but you just cant trust most people. People changed, that's a cruel fact. I have a dream that i want to fulfil. What about you? ♥

Alexzz Christina Felicia Gina Jacelyn Raina Yanru Zuraiin Liting LuChuan Annie Joy

MY FACEBOOK / MY TUMBLR / MY TWITTER «

an avalanche that looms above our heads but we don't believe it

HOME

anything..

Thursday, August 28, 2008

i feel helpless.
i really dont want to study.
and i dont want to force myself. but i have to.
it's really giving me headache.
no wonder people always say get hypertension then die.
it's a clinical consequenses of chronic hypertension.
severe headache.
i hope i will not be getting visual disturbances, since it's so 'earlier' in the night.
hahahaa~
i am cooking chicken wings. smells good now. give me a minute**

alright...it's charred. what the hell.

oh yeah back to the topic.
i was like thinking, why am i doing this? why make my life so miserable?
cant i just dont study like some people? i mean as in go slack, heck care.
somemore, i dont have the 'pre-exam nervous-ness syndrome',
nothing is giving me any pressure nor any stress. none at all.
i dont feel any. but maybe it doesnt mean that i am not stress.
i really dont want to study. there's so much so much to touch on.
i dont want to.
it's further depressing me that my friends, except from those BIO, had already finished or are finishing their exams. and that i still have 3more papers to go.
why the BIO? why the BIO?
i feel miserable.
cause somehow i am a slow-learner too, not so clever.
make it hard for me to memorize everything. well, maybe not everything.
i have just managed to scrape through MGEN and FPATH.
so relieved.
there's a full 1 and half day for us to prepare for the 3more paper.
AIMM, PCT and BIOCHEM.
on tues, i am so freaking tired that i slept for 6hours.
i am so shocked. from 3pm to 9pm. like wtf.
am i so tired that i dont even know it? or is my biological clock screwed?
so yeah no mood to study, but somehow at night,i did an AIMM paper..of 2questions..ONLY.
and i went to sleep again.
WTF. i woke up at 2pm.
i really have no mood to study though i have make plans already.
i watched tv all day long.
with the thought of "i really need to study! i really need to study!"ringing in my head.
but i didnt.
i feel like crying. and i did, just abit. hahaa~shouldnt have.
i really dont want to study!
but i fuckingly have to.
omg.
omg.
i started at 1am. abit of reluctance.
cause if i dont, i know the consequences.

now i almost study finish...err but.
i just need to memorize ALL.
i wont be sleeping today.
seriously, i am starting to think i am a superwoman.
hahaha~
yeah it's going to be 5am. i think i left 3hours to memorize all.
and i havent start on it.
but it's all going to be fine.
let nature takes its course.
this is how i always console myself.
i will be able to do it.
cause i am me.
just 2more days.
even now i dont feel like studying.
i feel like crap.
please study.
it's 5.00 now.
my papa is waking up.
i wonder what will he say if he sees me awake.
i think i will just tell him that i just wake up.
miserable.

@ 4:20 AM