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hi, you.
Having grown to this age, you better know what you're thinking. You might meet obstacles and failures, you can cry. But what matter most is you pick yourself up and move on. No one will help you in this reality. I have learned to listen to people, but you just cant trust most people. People changed, that's a cruel fact. I have a dream that i want to fulfil. What about you? ♥

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why am i like this?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

i am totally stressed out.
people do project, i also do project.
i cant imagine why am i putting so much stress on myself.
when i dont think i am doing alot of things compared to my groupmates.

of course, i dont put all the blame on my projects la.
there is obviously other things which causes me to become like this....
AHHH today at karate, when i was busy complaining about my fucking hectic and messy schedule, i cant tolerate and say until i cry. like WTF. i am laughing at myself.

'Do not bite more than you can chew.'
now i totally understand what this phrase means..
it's refering to me, sadly.

woahh tingxuan got so much time horrr...
go join this join that. i have learnt my lesson.
i havent realized that i have so much to do until the date is nearing..
all the meetings...
and then there's karate..
bleahsss :X

just now i spent 4minutes, thinking of quiting karate.
just 4minutes. then i stop thinking.
reason?
firstly, cause it's really MONEY-CONSUMING.
or rather i am poor.
i DO NOT like to get money from my dad.
sometimes i have no choice, especially since now i am broke.
if i ever quit, then all my money problem will be gone. most prolly.
but then i love karate, i love my friends there.
and it's my way of keeping fit XD
so i am not considering it.
secondly, my 2 freaking PBLs and timetable.
meetings last till nightss;
and for every wednesday i have to wait 3hours till the trainings.
i feel that i am wasting my time, i might as well spend the time to go sleep or do something i want...AT HOME!
yeah you might say i can go to the 'OPTIONAL' trainings on tueday or friday.
OHH no thanks.
i have already said i have got projects. and if i got the time, i will go sleep cause i dont have enough sleep. I HAVE DARK CIRCLES AROUND MY SMALL EYES!!! making my eyes look even smaller. hell.

somemore, i need to be healthy.
i cant seems to recover from my sickness.
i have got sorethroat for 2weeks liao, but it's going ON and OFF...
sian-ness.
sleep more please, drink more water, thanks.

TOMORROW is hell.
i only got lessons from 8am to 9am!!!!!
it's just freaking 1hour.
you can guess how much i cherish and love this thursday.
just 1 hour of MCT...or maybe half an hour, i can rest for the whole day FINALLY!!!
but here comes a BAD NEWS.
i break down.
TPRAWKSmeeting at 1pm, and if can, there's also meeting at 7.30pm
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???
i have got to wait from 9am to 1pm, just for this meeting, which INITIALLY i have nothing to do with it. it's not like it's more my result or something.
BUT TOO BAD!!
i have already given my word to them, that i will join.
i SERIOUSLY REGRETTED THIS! i should have rejected them.
WASTE MY TIME.
i am really sad that i cant go home, when i thought i can.
it's my rest day. like a god's gift!! ):
but it's gone.

PLUS if i were to stay in school, who's going to accompany me?
this problem always exist cause lonesome is SCARY!
gladly, i found people to pei.
OTHERWISE how am i going to go through the 4HOURS alone?
GO HOME THEN COME SCHOOL AGAIN??? SIAO.
i might as well dont go for the meeting.
i am not going for the 7.30pm one.
i got other things to do.

WHEN I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING AT THIS TIME,
I CHOOSE TO BLOG.
RANTING AND SCOLDING AND GRUMBLING AND COMPLAINING~
my eyelids are damn heavy now.

i shall remain as cheerful and happy as i am.
life still goes on.
and YAY! (:
life may be hard and tiring, but i have really wonderful people around me.
i love my friends.
everybody!

@ 11:59 PM